Posts Tagged: creepy valentine

creepy valentines…guns.

Let’s Celebrate!

Today, in honor of everyone’s favorite romantic holiday, I bring you everyone’s symbol of love and romance…GUNS.

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I’m not understanding exactly how the gun ties in with the submarine, but this all seems very Freudian to me.
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Yee haw! Very Yellowstone, isn’t it?
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Another Western celebration of phallic violence.
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At least this one says “Please,” but even if the recipient says yes, I don’t think consent given at gunpoint really counts.
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A cop. A service revolver. So messed up on so many levels, I don’t know where to start.
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Armed robbery! That’s romantic, yes?
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Okay, he’s not even sighting this properly, so he’s going to hit her god-knows-where, and what’s with the bunny.
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Oh, okay. Please note that this is a Hallmark, for when you care enough to send the truly sad and disturbed. At least this poor little guy is killing himself for love, and not the object of his skunkish affections. But this next one is worse.
Nothing like a Valentine that includes instructions for how to do away with yourself (and a happy ending, thank goodness).

Where did these come from? I really have to wonder about the level of frustration in the lives of designers of vintage valentines. Were they so tired of doing commercial illustration that their Valentines took this macabre turn?

Goodness me. It’s Valentine’s Day.

I wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day. Here are further thoughts on the subject:

Creepy Valentines: Cannibals

Creepy Valentines: Meat

Flowers at Work on Valentine’s Day

 

Creepy Valentines—the Cannibal Edition

Call Me By Your Name

I watched “Call Me By Your Name” recently. This is one of those movies I kept putting off because I had to rent it. I think kind of forgot about it after I read the book in preparation for seeing the movie, because there was this pandemic thing going on that made me seek out lighter fare, like, for instance, “The Good Place” (we won’t speak of “Tiger King”).

But for reasons I don’t like knowing about, Armie Hammer has been in the news lately. And that made me remember that I’d never seen the movie. I wanted to watch it before my perception of Armie Hammer’s performance could be clouded by any more creepy stuff about him–and I just know that more creepy stuff is going to come out about him. Don’t you feel it lurking in the wings, waiting to settle over his pretty face like a big, murky cloud of privilege and perversion? Or is that just me?

Anyway, I decided it was time to watch “Call Me By Your Name.” I had to rent it for $3.99, which was fine, because I’m cheap, but I’m not THAT cheap. The movie, like the book, is thoughtful, beautiful, and wrenching. It required patience to read the book. It requires patience to watch the movie. I feel that my patience was repaid, but your experience may vary. It’s a sad and romantic movie, and hey, speaking of romance, it’s almost Valentine’s Day.

Which brings us to…creepy Valentines!

So in honor of Armie Hammer, here are some vintage creepy Valentines with overt references to acts of cannibalism.

 

I have omitted the racially offensive cannibalism valentines. YOU’RE WELCOME.

Hoping your Valentine’s Day includes romance, hearts and flowers, and absolutely no cauldrons.

creepy valentines with strange meat themes

I don’t know how these tie in with the idea of romance, either. Cannibalism and butchery shouldn’t be part of the romance plan, should it? Were all the designers of vintage valentines secretly serial killers?

My intention is to do a future post devoted to hotdog valentines, which figure prominently in the vintage valentine lexicon of love. But I’ve included the ones with people and hotdogs here, because, well, meat. However, we have steaks, baloney, wurst and hotdogs, and…veal. But let’s start with a lovingly rendered slice of marbled beef, because I know that says romance to so many.

 Kinda grooving on the baloney slicer, I won’t lie. I’m sure the true bonds of love are formed with sausage links when, for instance, you cook breakfast for someone. Okay, maybe not. However I do love this one. Especially that little dog. The rubber gloves, the cleaver, the deranged grin, the oddly clean apron–Boy, I bet that guy gets a lot of dates.

 

A VEAL THEMED VALENTINE?? That one just makes me sad.