Okay, all you other Karen Berrys
Karen Berry in Georgia
You signed me up for Match.com. I don’t want to belong to Match.com. That account is canceled, please sign up under your own email address instead of mine, “Mary.” I also get your job alerts, by the way. Maybe you found a job and now you’re looking for love, but listen, I get more Georgia stuff than I get from any other state. I’m not sure why you can’t type your own email address instead of mine and I don’t care. Just, please, make it stop.
Karen Berry in Europe Somewhere
Do you realize that you ordered your expensive something-in-Spain tour tickets to my email address? My email address here in Oregon? I am not currently in Spain (and never have been) but if I were in Spain I’d have definitely gone to see whatever that was you spent all those Euros on! I wonder if you arrived at your tourist location without tickets, or if you caught your mistake beforehand. I also want you to know that I didn’t cancel your taxi reservations to the airport this time, but I have before. Yes, it was me, so please use your own email address in the future.
Karen Berry in Central Oregon
You signed me up for CuddleMe.com or something like that. It’s like that site you signed me up for last year, LetsFlirt.com or some such garbage. These are sites for married people who want to cheat, and I am married but I do NOT want to cheat, so please stop. Last time you did this, I signed in and looked at your photo and profile before I cancelled (you’re very pretty). This time I just blocked all that mess. I’m not going to the trouble of changing the password and cancelling the account. But if you are wondering why you get no extramarital flirtation action, this is why. Are you the person who signed me up for Ashley Madison? Please please please. I tell my husband when this happens, just on the off chance that there is another data breach and it looks like I’m in the market for philandering. Use your own email account, please.
UK Karen Berry who is a Compulsive Gambler
Look. We share a name, not a proclivity for online gambling. But judging by the email I keep getting, and the number of dark web password theft alert notifications generated by your use of my email on gambling sites, I think you really have a problem. UK Karen Berry, I don’t know if you’re the Welsh Karen Berry or the Dublin Karen Berry or maybe the New Zealand Karen Berry, but you need help! Get help!
And that is enough grumpy ranting for the day.
