Monthly Archives: July 2024
The Party Bubble, LiveJournal, Adrienne – I miss them all.
Hello Strangers!
Occasionally I remember I have a blog, and wonder why I haven’t been posting here. I love my blog. I know I’m supposed to be Building a Personal Brand or some such, but believe it or not I blog purely for the pleasure of it. The problem is, I’ve been writing another book, a new book, a different kind of book for me, one that requires actual research. That unfortunately cuts into my blogging time.
I’m done with the book. No, really, unless an editor tells me to fix something, I’m done. There is SO MUCH work to be done to get it out into the light of day. That means it’s time to get serious about procrastinating. Yes! Now is the time for procrastination! And blogging is a fantastic way to procrastinate, so here we are.
My extremely fascinating and vivid personal blogging history
I discovered blogging back in Ye Olde LiveJournal days. I loved that platform. I loved its odd blend of anonymity and community. Everyone religiously read their feeds daily and left charming, supportive, and often funny comments. You could create side blogs, as many as you wanted. That might be a secret blog where you could publicly grieve a breakup in anonymity. You could create a blog just to participate in a certain community–let’s say, American Idol fans. This would leave your main blog free of heartache and/or fandom. Or not. It was up to you.
Most LiveJournal blogs were public. You could hate-read the misadventures of your enemies to your heart’s content. This could be a real time suck. I once spent most of a day reading about a woman who had successfully faked being blind online, to the point where she was called to testify before a Senate subcommittee on internet accessibility for the visually impaired. And she wasn’t even blind. She was almost dismissive about how deep she’d gone before she came clean and I was…fascinated. I mean, I went deep, I read the whole thing, including the part where she married a man from a Scandinavian country who she met through her fake-blindness blog, and then she had to come clean to him about not being blind, and he married her anyway. And then got his green card. And then left her.
This was better than “Game of Thrones.”
Lifting the Cloak of Anonymity
I originally joined LJ without a name or location. I attracted readers, but soon enough I saw people I knew from Portland on there, so I stepped out from behind the curtain and said hello. This necessitated the other journals (see above: American Idol) (There might have been a sad girl breakup blog, as well) (I’ll never admit it). I blogged about my kids and my life and the housefire and various romantic misadventures. Yes, my kids found the blog. One of them read it. She’s never quite forgiven me.
I looooved the American Idol blog. I’d originally been recapping the show on my main blog, but hardly anyone I knew watched it and I felt my incisive commentary would be better spent on fellow fans. So I went over to the fannish side of LJ and had a blast. I didn’t bother with recaps, because other people (including a friend who is now a successful romance writer) (looking at you Jenn) (and I believe this was where I met you, Amanda) did it so brilliantly. But I’d ask a question mid-week, when we were all jonesing for the next episode, and get 75 comments and feel like a winner. At last! People who understood that Adam Lambert was ROBBED! And felt my PAIN! It was great.
My favorite LiveJournal side project was done with my friend Adrienne. One year, she went with me to my New Year’s Eve party. It wasn’t mine in that I didn’t hold the party, but it was mine in that I was invited by Frank and Laurie each year (they moved, so now I stay home). Anyway, at this party, Adrienne was pursued by this middle-aged, overly groomed, damp and panting suburban couple that would not leave her be. She asked me, “Why do these couples always bother me?” Well, Adrienne, being beautiful might account for it.
The creepy couple followed her around, aflame with lust and trying to engage Adrienne’s attentions. Everywhere we turned, there they were, leaning in to ask/tell her something. The man asked her to dance repeatedly, and the wife kept insisting it was fine with her. I said, “Would you just dance with him once so he stops?” Adrienne gave me a cool stare. “I don’t do that.” I was both impressed and put in my place by her resolve. And she was right, of course. If you feed a hungry dog, it will return to your door and ask for more. Same with dancing with a man you don’t like.
And this couple, did I mention that they were creepy? They dogged her. I’m sure they were poly, and no offense to the poly folks, but the truth is, just because you’re willing to participate in sexually interesting situations, it doesn’t automatically make you sexually interesting.
They were not invited into the Karen/Adrienne Party Bubble.
The Party Bubble
Back when we were both younger and single, we went to many parties surrounded by the Party Bubble. It was the means by which we went from place to place, always having fun. So much fun. Remember the pink bubble in which Glinda the Good Witch appears in Oz? It was just like that, except invisible. I even drew a picture of it years ago.
I know. My artistic skills are impressive.
The Party Bubble explains how we were able to carry on and have fun despite the creepy couple. It made us impervious. There was food, so we ate. There were people we liked, and we talked to them. There was music, so we danced. There was wine, so we drank. Which leads me to the highly tangential LiveJournal point: There was karaoke, and we sang.
I think it was “Walking after Midnight,” but it might have been something more current. I remember Adrienne asking me to sing this particular song, whatever it was, and she asked me to do the yodel, because she couldn’t yodel. It wasn’t a yodel per se, it was that little yodel-type-break-in-the-throat country singers use in twang songs. I can do that. Maybe it is a yodel.
Anyway. We pulled off a country duet in drunken harmony and you know, we sounded pretty good.
The creepy couple wife exclaimed, “Oh my god! You two were better than Angels!”
This led to…
…the Better Than Angels LiveJournal!
Yes, we created a LiveJournal blog where the ever-popular country duo, Better Than Angels, connected with their fans. We posted about our upcoming gigs, including the one at Sizzlers where we urged, “be sure to bring your two-for-one dinner coupon!” We displayed photos of the lovely angel figurines our fans had given to us. And we worked on compiling our first CD of classic Country Hits.
The CD was themed, of course. It would include many angry woman songs from Loretta Lynn’s oeuvre, plus some Tammy Wynette, and more modern additions like “Good-bye Earl”. We had an entire list of angry women songs, and that was long before The Chicks released “Gaslighter” or Carrie Underwood sang “Before He Cheats.” I wish I could remember the rest of the titles because it would have been a great EP. (here are some more: angry women songs).
We were Better Than Angels, and we had fun with it, and then we took it down.
This was the kind of self-indulgent internet delight that was really only possible back in the days of chatrooms and AIM and LiveJournal communities. These online spaces could thrive because no one had figured out how to make money from them. No one was throwing around marketing acronyms to make the internet seem important. It was just a bunch of goofy people having goofy fun and enjoying each other’s goofiness. It couldn’t last forever, but oh how I wish it could have.
Blogging Today is a Serious Affair
I’m not sure what happened to LiveJournal. Something to do with Russia. I honestly don’t know and I no longer care. Very much. I mean, Russia’s on the sh*t list for a few reasons but they also wrecked my favorite blogging platform. It’s a petty concern that didn’t feel petty at the time. Someone spoiled my fun. I didn’t like it.
I think the last time I saw Adrienne was in 2017. She lives in a different city, and we both got into serious relationships in 2018, and then COVID came, and now there are health concerns that make travel difficult. But we still talk and text. And we’re still…
…better than angels.
Why I don’t want a dog.
I don’t want a dog.
Not right now. But my nephew sent me this:
Yes, I did take a look at Sullivan. Here are his behavioral particulars.
He sounds perfect, right? Just the kind of impossible little dog I had last time. But I don’t want a dog right now. Why?
Maybe because…
The last two broke my heart. And dogs always break my heart. I have had six, now, and all six of them have inspired more weeping than any man.
I should have just stuck with cats. Cats come and they go. They might “belong” to you, but they will just move in somewhere else without a backwards glance at you. They do break your heart, but they’re callous about it. Dogs break your heart by being sweet and devoted and stupid.
The last two also broke the bank.
My first four dogs were fairly cheap, all things considered. They didn’t get sick very often, they ate whatever was on sale at the Grocery Outlet, and I had a magnificent vet who charged me according to the budgetary realities of a single mother of three who still wanted her kids to be able to have a damn dog.
I’m retiring. I can’t afford any more expensive dogs.
Or maybe I want to travel!
We like to go on trips. After Dad died, we had limited options for dog care. Below, I have posted the instructions I left for my friend Sarah, who stayed at the house while T and I took our honeymoon cruise to Alaska (this was before Dad died, but he was debilitated by COPD at this point). Maybe if you read through the whole thing, you’ll understand why I don’t have dogs anymore.
Here are her instructions:
Dogs:
FEEDING: The dogs wake about 6-7 AM. They go out the back door by the dining room to pee, then come in to eat. We have a lot of coyotes in our neighborhood, so please lift the blind and give the yard a visual scan before letting them out in the mornings, when the coyotes are still actively hunting. Same if you’re up at night and they get up with you when it’s dark. There is a flashlight on the end of the table to help in the dark. You can step out with them if you like, but it’s not needed.
Breakfast: They wake up STARVING. Don’t feed before 6 AM. Before breakfast, each dog gets a Lil Jac soft treat. Beulah’s should have one of her meds pushed into it. These will be set out on the buffet for you. Lita may or may not take a treat from your hand. Just drop it on the floor and she will snap it up. Beulah will definitely take treats from you.
The dog food is sitting on top of the woodstove right now because of ants. There’s a cup in there to scoop the food. It takes about half of that cup to fill their bowls.
Blue bowl = Beulah. Cover the bottom generously.
Orange bowl = Lita. Cover half the bottom generously.
The dogs always eat by their water bowl. They like to eat with their bowls pretty close together – 6 to 10 inches. If you’re facing the back of the house, Beulah’s bowl goes to the left and Lita’s to the right. Lita might hide under the table and take a little time to come out and eat. You should guard her bowl until she does because Beulah will eat Lita’s food right up.
Once they are done eating, they go out again to poop. Sometimes Lita needs walking to the back door. I have no idea why, she just likes you to verbally encourage her in a friendly voice, and walk her back there.
After they come back in, they usually want a tiny Milkbone. Those will also be on the buffet.
I change their water in the mornings and that’s usually fine for the day.
Lita starts crying for dinner about 3:30 PM. Don’t believe her for a minute.
Dinner: Repeat the food portion at 5 PM. No meds.
I call treats “treats” and “cookies.” The dogs know those words. Milkbones anytime. Lil Jac treats 2X-3X. Bribe them as needed, but NO people food. Beulah has a super-sensitive system and can only eat the prescription kibble and a few treats. A bite of egg or sausage will send her to the dog hospital with pancreatitis, sadly.
SLEEPING: The dogs will probably not sleep with you. There are three dog beds and they will probably sleep together in one. But Beulah might jump up on your bed to sleep. In that case, Lita might cry to get up there, too. She can’t get up or down from the big bed and will not try.
PEEING ANG POOPING:
The dogs are used to going on pee pads during the day, but if you’re home you can let them out every few hours.
Pee pads are in the hallway bathroom in the lower right cabinet. I put two down and leave them all day. Sometimes they use them a lot and sometimes they don’t. Like I said, if you’re there to encourage them to go out, they might not use them. Just throw pads in the kitchen garbage when they are soiled. If there’s poop (this is rare), dump it in the toilet before putting pad in kitchen garbage.
If the pee pads get soaked through/pee gets on the floor, I clean the floor with bleach spray and rags. I will leave both on the bathroom counter for you. Used rags get thrown in the utility sink in the utility room.
I usually let them out one last time around 9:30 – 10 PM. Occasionally Beulah gets up in the night and pees, so it’s good to have a pee pad down in the bathroom at night. She will go right to it.
Other dog stuff:
Lita’s challenges and temperament: Lita has seizures. Sometimes she screams during the seizures, sometimes she just twitches. Usually she has them while she is asleep at night, or in her bed. They do not hurt her and she doesn’t even remember them. She also has a bad temperament. She tends to snarl loudly when moved or disturbed, especially if Beulah is near. Her bark is worse than her bite. Just move her slowly and she will recover her composure.
Mobility: Beulah is limber and mobile. Lita is not. She can usually jump up from the patio to come in. Sometimes she needs a lift. She can’t go up or down the steps to the TV room.
Licking: Beulah is a compulsive licker of everything and it’s super annoying. If it’s bugging you, or if she’s licking the new furniture downstairs, tell Beulah firmly, “NO MORE LICKING.” Repeat as needed. It might take her a second but she will eventually give in.
Affection: Beulah will just plop right up on you, chuffing and happy. Lita might want some pets eventually, but she’s pretty teetery and ancient and might just stare at you. She likes very gentle belly rubs and rolls over to suggest them.
Door rushing: They are usually calm when we leave, but can rush other people at the door. Please be very careful of this. Tell them to “get back” when you’re coming in, and when you’re leaving, and they should back up and give you room. I do not think they are flight risks, but you never know. If a dog goes out front, bribe her back in by shaking a treat bag and super happy excited calling.
What to do if one of these old dogs should die: Please call (DAUGHTERS) for help. Wrap the dog in an old towel, like the pink one on the shelf in the hall bathroom, and put her on the bathroom vanity in my bathroom. Depending on how close it is to us getting home, doggie might need to be buried before our return. Neighbor Kevin can dig a (deep because of coyotes) hole. Please bury the dog (in the towel) near the magnolia tree in the front yard, but not directly under; Mylo is planted there. I keep collars and tags as keepsakes. If you bury a dog, she needs a toy for the afterlife. (DAUGHTERS), that would be Fliger or Fleopard for Beulah, and a fat one for Lita.
The end. That’s it. All the instructions. I found this in my files today and thought, I am so. Not. Ready. for another dog.
But don’t worry about Sullivan.
Someone else adopted him, so I don’t have to.
